MeatWars is a(n) (in)famous fanfiction by Porky Minch that is supposed to describe the main user's of this wiki's personalities. It wasn't hated for any reason other than the fact it was created by one of the biggest jerks ever. The fanfiction has multiple bad Shippings, including TheDragonTrainer x Ridley and Claus x Count (the second being only hinted and most likely one-sided, but still), but seriously, it's writer is the only reason it became so infamous.

The fanfiction ;-;

"Author's note: This is a Meat Logic fanfiction. If you don't like this, don't read this.

Chapter 1: Dragobsession

TheDragonTrainer (as a young Glaceon) was walking through a park, until she encountered Ridley. This was the first time she ever encountered a creature with scales, so she was really interested in him. Ridley had a soft spot for the ice-type, and taught Dragon a lot of the moves she knows today. This started an obsession-and love- that would start a war.

Chapter 2: "Rouding" 'Em Up

A few years later, TheDragonTrainer found Roud72 frozen. She broke him out of the ice, and Roud let out a roar of happiness that Ridley thought was a roar of anger. From millions of miles away, Ridley tackled Roud and the two had an epic battle. Claus didn't win- Roud did. During the fight, Ridley screamed "FOR CLAUS!!!", which started Roud's deep hatred for him.

Chapter 3: A Fire Spreading in Meat World's Logic

The news of this battle of dragons spread through Meatworld, and people started imitating it. Another group of people started going against the imitations. The groups started hating eachother more and more, until they actually started fighting eachother.

Chapter 4: Claus the Masked Man is Comin' to Town!

Count Desertstone was sitting in his house, posting on Miiverse, then Claus flew next to his window and crashed when he flew into his window and crashed through the glass, toppling over Count's flatscreen television. Count had never seen anything (or anyone) more amazing and awesome in his life. Claus was revealed to be the general of the pro-imitation side, which was now known as the Dragonfight side (the other side was called the Fairydefense side). The Charizard healed him, and followed him everywhere.

Chapter 5: woofy x skawt

WolfyKitty, the general of her side, was walking through the battle. She was on the Fairydefense side. Scottnov, the co-general of his side, was running through the battle. He was on the Dragonfight side. Scottnov ran into WolfyKitty, and her eyes captured his heart like he was being captured by a trainer. Wolfy pulled out a rifle, and was about to shoot Scott, until he used Attract to make her fall in love too. This attract would not wear off, as the two left the war to go on a date. What a happy couple!

Chapter 6: Of All Things

Because two very important members of each side fell in love, the war ended suddenly. The end.... Or is it?

Chapter 7: A War Flames Back Up With a Certain Hound

FlamingFireHound was hunting until he saw Wolfy and Scott and immediently started to ship them. Because of this, people started shipping everything, and then the pro-shippers became the new Fairydefense side and the anti-shippers became the Dragonfight side.

Chapter 8: Stuck in Home

You see, when Wolfy wasn't flirting with Scott, she explored the internet. Then, Karkat broke into her house and linked her to Homestuck and gave her medicene to make her read it. Karkat walked back outside, and started fighting on the Dragonfight side.

Chapter 9: Omid Crosssing

Roud, while flying, found Omid causually walking around the battlefield, playing Animal Crossing. He got the same feeling Count did when he met Claus, pure "OMGSOKOOL". When he flew down, he knocked the 3DS out of Omid's hands as Rekanochi caught it. She, along with Wolfy and Scott, was on the Dragonfight side. While Roud was discussing politics with Omid (for no reason whatsoever), Wolfy and Reka played Animal Crossing, starting their obsessions.

Chapter 10: The End

Out of nowhere, in the middle of Meatworld, a dark version of The Core came and ate everyone but Count, Claus, Reka, Wolfy, Scott, Omid, Roud, Ridley, Dragon, Karkat, and Flaming. They split into 3 groups. Count, Ridley, Claus, and Flaming attacked the dark Core. Karkat, Wolfy, Roud, and Omid gathered food and set up tents for the night since even dark gods and dragons need to sleep. Dragon and Reka taunted the Core, and in a few hours, it was all finished."


  • This explains lot of things.
    • Why Count is such a huge fan of Claus.
    • Why FlamingFireHound ships Wolfy x Scott
    • Why Flaming jokes a lot.
    • Why Rekanochi likes Animal Crossing.
    • Why Dragon is a fan of dragons.
    • Why Roud is such a huge fan of Omid.
    • Why Wolfy is such a huge fan of Homestuck.
  • This is fanfiction.

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